Would NZ be safer in a zombie apocalypse?

If Neon’s The Last of Us, Netflix’ Black Summer and Dawn of the Dead have taught me anything, it’s that I’m not too prepared for the zombie apocalypse.

With TVNZ dropping The Walking Dead: Dead City, it served as a landmark. When the zombies come to us, exactly where in New Zealand would be the safest place to be?

A recent Australian study predicted the safest cities based on availability of resources, population, shelter, transport options and proximity to the military, so I got inspired and got to work.

Of course, my calculations weren’t exactly scientific. But with a map and a few generalizations I made a list of the safest places in NZ to be when the zombies attack.

You’ll thank me one day.

Far North

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from TV, it’s that zombies aren’t smart or fast. The ride will trip them up long enough for them to figure out your next step.

First, the Northland bush offers plenty of hiding places, and high trees for a quick escape. Small communities are also self-sufficient when needed.

More people, and more off-the-grid opportunities also reduce the risk of a zombie outbreak spreading too fast.

A word of caution, though. A smaller population also means that goods may be scarce, or even inaccessible without reliable transportation.

Perhaps the best time to dust off the hunting rifle is to use some of that deserted land to track down Bill and Frank of The Last of Us fame and plan the most beautiful garden for a happy zombie-free life.

Dunedin

The city of Southland has a chance to go there in the event of a zombie apocalypse. For starters, it’s a popular university town, so you can also find plenty of young, fit, healthy and athletic people to join.

Also, I’m not 100% sure about the rules when it comes to zombies and flames, but everything that’s been done about lighting a fire means it’s a defensive weapon.

The population is enough to keep most of the stores worth looting, and the mountains (where they discourage walking or cycling) slow down the dead more than the living.

Proximity to the harbor and HMNZS Toroa Navy depot doesn’t hurt, either.

Accidentally

While the cold may not be a deterrent to approaching zombies, it does seem to slow them down a bit, so the proximity of snow and ice that comes with winter can hurt zombies more than humans.

They are too limited in human intelligence to limit the spread of zombies on their own.

When it comes to food, there are a few shops that can be bought early, but the large lake and the proximity to many hunting grounds give us a chance to be self-sufficient.

Wellington

Wellington is a beautiful and dynamic city. It’s easy to walk, bike and drive – and anyone will be faster and more connected to those mountains than the one on your tail.

And you’re at the heart of government, and if anything is going to be protected from a zombie outbreak, it’s going to be the legislature, right?

Not to mention you’ve got a dock at your disposal, and you’re just a hop and a skip away from Upper Hutt’s Trentham Military Camp.

And the ever-organized Wellington City Council also made plans for a zombie apocalypse in 2011.

Worst place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Sorry fellow Aucklanders, but when the zombies hit, we’re out of luck.

Sure, we have a port, a marina and a lot of things, but if covid has taught us anything, it’s that the size of the city, and our inability to work together for everyone’s benefit, will have zombies spreading. like wild fire.

As a rule, we are not very good on the grid, live enough, the traffic will be stopped within the first hour of any zombie warning and there is every chance we would be fine and interrupted by the time. every state of emergency was called.